From the Wardrobe Dept

I like socks.




I tend to think more about my socks then I do any other article of clothing and I'm not really sure why that is. Something tells me it has to do with Bard though, but I am not so sure.

Back when I was in the Navy I used to spend a good deal of time trying to find particular socks which met three major conditions.

A.) Regulation
From NAVPERS 15665I

78. SOCKS (BLACK/KHAKI/WHITE)
A. Description. Made of undecorated, plain or ribbed
knitted material. Knee length or mid calf socks are authorized.
b. Correct Wear. Wear right side out.
c. Ownership Markings. Initials only on the foot.

B.) Comfortable
C.) Didn't stink.

I did grow up on a dairy farm, but that doesn't mean I like the smell of fermented foot. I started to wear boots which were more combat like rather then boondocker like. They came up to the lower part of my calf, while boondockers stop just above your ankle. However, this cuts back on the amount of ventilation your toes see and can cause a lot of interesting things to go on down there in the twelve to sixteen hours they may be on.

Early in my navy career I found some socks which were white on the bottom and black on top. Some people really do not like their toe nails getting dyed black, and I guess I'd prefer not to, but honestly they felt like wearing sand paper. I eventually found some really cool black socks which were wool on the bottom half and that crap military stuff on the top. I bought a two pairs with the intent of buying more after pay day. Big mistake. They were all sold out and in keeping with navy tradition of "if it makes sailors happy it must be a bad thing" they never ordered them again.

Well, I sucked all the life I could out of those poor socks until they were nothing more then sock vapor, mere shadows of their formers selves. I had to go back to sand paper. About three or four weeks before my last deployment, I managed to find black socks which were elastic throughout, but wool mesh on the bottom half. This time I broke out Navy star card and bought a good dozen pairs. I paraded them the following day at quarters and was much the envy of all. Not to my surprise they too sold out in a matter of days and were never carried again. I still have a few pairs of these socks left in my standard rotation which I wear with my now worn out hiking boots.

As it turns out I tend to date girls, who unknowingly to me at the time, also like socks. I remember once reacting in a sort of shock and amazement to a girl who had toe socks. Socks made like gloves, but for your feet. Wearing toe socks is not something that appeals to me, but I think looks pretty cool.



I have socks for nearly every occasion, including athletics. In fact, I have two different types of socks depending on what sort of activity I am doing (mountain biking or Distance running)... Not including wool hiking socks since I use them normally anyway.

As mentioned above I greatly prefer wool socks or a poly wool blend to anything. I don't mind cotton and have nothing against them and do wear them sometimes, I just enjoy the feel of soft wool better. I also prefer colorful wool socks to pure colors. I tend to like a lot of earth tones, but still, I like a lot of them at once. Like those socks at the top. That would be something I would wear.

However, I can't stand sleeping in socks. I prefer the feel of my sheets which I payed good American tax dollars for. It always amazes me when people go to sleep with their socks on. I know people who sleep naked... Except their socks. What the fuck is up with that? I won't even go into sex and socks, but lets just say I prefer to leave that to the porn stars.